Brendon Small & Dani Vetere
- “And they returned to the darkest depths, to sink even lower.”
- — Ishnifus Meaddle
"Going Downklok" is the ninth episode of the fourth season of Metalocalypse, fifty-eighth overall. It aired on June 24, 2012 on Adult Swim.
The entire band and their staff use a submarine to make a record that will replace the one destroyed in Prankklok without distractions.
A mysterious voice narrates "And they returned to the darkest depths, to sink even lower". Dethklok unveils their new Dethsub, where they will record their entire new album away from the general public and distraction. As they prepare to board, Charles suggests the band say "goodbye to the girls" as none of the fans are allowed on-board since it's a security risk and Nathan says that fucking sucks. Murderface conspiratorially whispers they should jack-off instead and keeps making sexual comments while getting uncomfortably close to Skwisgaar, who tells him to back off. Abigail walks on board and the band greets her warmly. Nathan mentions that it's too bad she is "off limits" or she would be fun to seduce. Pickles points out nobody has said she's "off limits", which makes Nathan seriously consider the notion.
Charles begins a meeting to go over submarine safety before they hit the ocean floor, but Nathan interrupts him to talk about a recurring nightmare he's been having lately. Pickles asks him if it's the one where he "fucks a hornet's nest and then put your cock into a vat of boiling acid" and Nathan replies it's even worse: it's a dream in which the only way can have sex with women is to go down on them first. The entire band responds with disgust and Toki asks what going down means. When Skwisgaar explains it, he looks beyond horrified and calls it gross. Nathan says he is shaking even thinking about it. Skwisgaar tries to reassure them none of them have to do it anymore since they are members of a famous rock n'roll band. The band says they would only do it under the most dire circumstances, such as their parents' lives being threatened. Nathan asks Charles point-blank if he agrees and but the CFO declines to comment. Nathan is shouting "we don't have to do that anymore!" when Abigail walks into the room and asks what they're talking about, to which he says nothing.
Charles resumes the meeting and says they have three months to craft the ultimate metal record. If they fail to meet that deadline, Charles fears that Cornickleson will sink the band on the spot. He ends the meeting with "have at it mateys", which Murderface criticizes as lame before asking who wants to jack off with him.
Not long into their first month of recording Abigail stops a music session that was going very poorly and asks why they're playing so badly. She notices that their wrists are swollen and limp and asks them what they have been doing. They go to see their doctor, who tells them they have been jacking off so hard all of them have advanced carpal tunnel syndrome. Abigail, who accompanied them to get their diagnosis, can't help chuckling but Nathan does not find it amusing at all. The doctor warns them they must refrain from masturbating for the next three months of recording, but as a result they will experience withdrawal, hallucinations, sexual nightmares and gender issues. He warns that without masturbation both men and women go insane. Nathan whispers they should still jack off anyway but at that moment they receive a hologram message from Cornickleson scolding them for wasting company time and money jacking-off. He finishes by saying "now finish this album on time or you'll have no label!"
Back on land, the Tribunal has a meeting to discuss how no longer being allowed to masturbate will affect the members of Dethklok creatively and mentally. Crozier reports that building and preparing the Dethsub has been an arduous and expensive process. The Dethsub is a monster submarine four times bigger than a luxury cruise liner, it's fully armed and it can sustain life for a decade if necessary. Also, deep-ocean mining teams were sent months ahead of time to prepare the location where the Dethsub would rest, supposedly creating a new deep ocean level called Andromeda's Crevice. Vater Orlaag says "yet there is no warm port waiting for Dethklok, no matter what size the vessel may be". Senator Stampington introduces their expert on human relations and masturbation: Dr. Fsmilejera Irlelwoll. Dr. Irlelwoll explain that men who are forced into masturbatory abstinence have been the culprits of civilizational destruction and gives examples like Attila the Hun and Caligula. When Senator Stampington asks how the presence of Abigail will affect this, Dr. Irlelwoll explains that Pickles and Nathan have nurtured a careful balance of friendship and creative birth which has greatly benefited themselves and the band. He asserts that they have not "treaded the dark waters of female competition" and says that path only leads to poisonous thorns and heartbreak and will ultimately lead to the demise of Dethklok. He finishes his speech with a visible erection, saying "somebody's a-going down". Mr. Salacia says that the Tribunal will not interfere, but rather will allow Dethklok to find something else to do with their time by themselves.
One month later and Nathan is exercising to pass time and take his mind off sex. He does one hundred bench presses and then complains it smells like garbage can cologne and realizes it's Pickles, who is all dressed up. Pickles says he's going to a drum consultation meeting with Abigail and tries to play it cool, but Nathan catches on quick and knows that Pickles will try to seduce Abigail. Nathan comments it might be crossing the line in terms of workplace appropriate relationships and Pickles angrily says it's within his rights to have sex with the only woman available. He accuses Nathan of getting worked up and then incredulously asks if Nathan wants to date her. Nathan, looking offended and confused, says "who wants to date anybody?" and asserts that dating is stupid before asking Pickles if he wants to date her. Pickles says he's only interested in sex and that she's good-looking. Nathan mumbles that he had not noticed that and he wishes the drummer good luck even though she's a bit out of his league. This leads into another argument that concludes with Nathan saying "let's see precisely whoms out of whomses leagues she be" meaning that they will let Abigail pick whom she likes better.
In another part of the sub, Murderface is hanging out with Toki who is teaching himself to do laundry to pass time. Toki has taken to wearing a high ponytail, which cools off his neck in the oppressive heat of the sub. He's also wearing roller-skates because he left his boots on shore. His attempt at laundry turns into a failure when he discovers all his clothes have been bleached pink and have shrunk. Murderface is hardly listening, since suddenly he finds Toki's toned ass very distracting.
Pickles' "date" with Abigail basically consists of him messing with the sound system and generally annoying her. When he goes for a kiss Abigail pushes him away and firmly says she will not have sex with anyone she works with. She mentions it's her most cherished rule and it's not Pickles' fault. Pickles gets disappointed and says he cannot believe she's not suffering from the same sexual frustration as everyone else in the submarine. Abigail confides that she has a "magical vibrating friend" that helps her through these dark times and Pickles is disgusted; knowing that she means a sex toy.
In the third month of recording Abigail says she's not happy with the sounds she's getting, so she wants the band to re-record their tracks separately in isolated places outside of the sub for better acoustics. A Klokateer tells her that 17.5 nautical miles west there is a sonically ideal guitar recording area and the only drawback is that it's in an active minefield so it will take most of the crew working to avoid a fatal disaster. For the drums, Knubbler has found an upward-inverted cave that with the best acoustics he's ever heard. Charles mentions they don't have a lot of time for this, he fears that the band is slowly losing their minds "in this murky pit of sexual despair".
In the exercise room where Nathan, Skiwsgaar and Toki are working out, Murderface kicks a garbage can and complains that Abigail turned down his request for sex. Toki and Skwisgaar mention that they propositioned her too and got turned down as well, and Skwisgaar says she might be "impenetrables". Nathan is the only one who has not asked her but he intends to. Pickles says that she will not have sex with Nathan because she's too good for him and Nathan says at this point he's willing to do anything to have sex. Pickles warns him that if he has sex at any cost there will be terrible consequences. Murderface interrupts saying that Toki has been looking really good lately with his ponytail and his short pink clothes and then shouts that he'll take anything and tries to jump on Toki.
Elsewhere, Abigail was making use of her vibrator, but it suddenly died. She's not amused.
Last day of principal audiography Charles says they have to nail the remaining part of their record. Skwisgaar and Toki will be transported to their guitar parts miles away and Pickles will be recording his drums in the newly dubbed Devil's Cave. Murderface will be in his inter-submarine subsonic base cabin and finally Nathan and Abigail will be in the control room "piloting this audio spacecraft into a new dimension". He ends the meeting saying "shake it down now", which doesn't impress anybody.
When each member is sent to their locations Nathan and Abigail are left alone to record lyrics in the control room. Abigail gives Nathan a smouldering look that really strikes him. He goes inside the control room, turns her chair around passionately and gives her a kiss that she readily reciprocates. To Nathan's huge surprise, Abigail then pushes his head down so he can perform cunnilingus. Despite his earlier declarations, he does it anyway, making Abigail moan with pleasure. Pickles hears this through their communication radio, becoming upset as he realizes what's happened. Abigail's elbow unwittingly send some of the submarine's smaller ships into the minefield, causing explosions that coincide with her orgasm. As soon as this is over, she says "oh God, what did I do?" and runs off, leaving Nathan to scream in frustration and despair.
- The first time the band recorded in a submarine was in Dethwater to record an album of the same name. Since that album was highly successful, maybe they're trying to hit the same creative sweet spot.
- Unless the submarine was being constantly restocked with air and food, life supplies would be limited; hence why Dethklok could not bring their groupies along.
- Skwisgaar might be lying about hating oral sex as much as the rest of the band, since he has done it more than once on his numerous group sex sessions.
- According to this episode, Nathan shares his sexual nightmares with Pickles.
- The "dangers of not masturbating" the doctor lists are almost identical to the "dangers of masturbating" that had a lot of doctors and pastors concerned last century.
- The lecture Roy Cornickelson gives the band is very reminiscent of the lecture a parent would give after catching their teenage child masturbating.
- The location the Dethsub was set to land (Andromeda's Crevice) is suspiciously very similar to a vulva.
- Both Caligula and Attila have a reputation for their sexual excesses (Attila had a harem of many captured women). Perhaps they were having so much sex they did not masturbate at all, like Dr. Irlelwoll suggests.